online returns

Who Are These People Messing Up Online Returns?!

Recently, I made a mistake as old as time … I spoke to someone I shouldn’t have. I mean, really, will I never learn? I walked into the UPS store with a couple of Amazon returns. Two items from two different orders. I had the one QR code pulled up and ready to go, but the second mysteriously disappeared into my email box. I should have just had the app open, I know, but I knew where it was in my email box! They were back to back, and then, apparently, not.

So, super funny UPS counter dude makes some snide remark along the line of “Oh, I know it’s really tricky trying to handle all of the new-fangled technology.” My eyes immediately darted up from my phone to meet his. He had easily 20 years on me (also, I have mentioned recently, I’ve worked for more than a decade as a social media marketing specialist and was previously in the TV industry? Just checking.) a sarcastic smirk, a hip-pop attitude stance of ill-advised authority, and he was about to get a big ole bunch of sass right in the kisser.

I scoff. Smirk right back. “It’s not the technology, it’s the trouble Amazon is giving me that’s the problem. If I could just have a label and have this ready to go for you instead of hassling with a QR code, I wouldn’t even be standing here having this conversation right now.”

Well, hot damn, did I just hit a hot-button issue with UPS counter dude. He went on in great detail about how the QR code is actually helping out their store work more efficiently and saving the environment and how these millennials  – and he POINTED AT ME (born in ’82!)– don’t know how to do returns anyway.


Welcome To The Online Return Wars Rodeo

online returns 2

Now please enjoy this pretty picture before you read about all the ways I got sassy about a return at the UPS store.

I’m not getting lumped in with these losers (jk, I’m just mad at this guy and won’t be wrongfully accused of mishandling anything by him!). I know how to return. Online shopping is basically my lifestyle and knowing how to return properly is the only way to ensure you receive your money back so you can purchase again. Returning is an essential part of the online buying process!

UPS counter dude said these “kids,” again not sure how I qualify as a kid but here we are, and they only know how to use phones, not computers (strange, my 6th grader has a laptop, but again, okay), they don’t know how to print, they definitely don’t have box tape … then he stops mid-sentence and goes, “I bet you don’t have box tape.”

HA! I said, “False, I actually buy it in bulk on Amazon because I absolutely know how to return properly and I have all the necessary supplies.”

So, this is the part of the story where I get the old man shoulder shrug and double hand wave off because I’ve got him beat and he’s never going to admit it.

But seriously, if you can’t return properly, don’t shop online! You’re embarrassing everyone including me! I’ve seen tricks online to circumvent the whole QR code thing, but it seems like a scam, so don’t do that either. Just suck it up, buttercup, it’s the price of doing business with Amazon, I guess. (She grumbles as she immediately opens the app to buy something she definitely needed. Definitely…)

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Heather Chastain

About Heather

(So, my web designer says I needed to include a bio, though I find this task silly because, if you’re here, you know me.)

I’m a writer. It’s what I do. It’s a cathartic mechanism when I need release from my anxiety. I’ve had blogs in the past; I’ve taken them down, but I never stopped writing. I simply can’t. My notes app is forever long as it’s filled with pages and pages of different topics. Sometimes I just write a few sentences. Sometimes I write paragraphs.

Recently, I've been writing long essays. My friends and others I hold dear have coaxed me into sharing my work again.

So that's what I'm doing, you wicked, pushy people. LOL

I have no desire to see my writing be anything more than an opportunity to share what I love doing most. I have no interest in this blog reaching the masses.

I thought it would be fun to call it My Spicy Disaster because that's often how I feel. A complete mess of epic proportion. So join me, if you'd like, and let's pretend we're not sitting amongst the chaos crying, but laughing instead.

Or maybe we do cry sometimes, but then wipe our tears and remember one person’s disaster is another person’s … well, who the hell knows …