Organizing Anxious Thoughts
In an effort to stay on top of my anxiety and anxious thoughts, I like to organize them. For example, if an event I know is going to be anxiety-inducing is coming up, I think through the situations that could cause me stress. This way I can plan and prepare. I can go in knowing what could happen so I don’t freak out when it does.
Back when the Fuller House reboot aired, shut up you know you watched it too, Stephanie teased DJ for scheduling her weekly breakdowns in the closet. The laugh track came on, but I nodded with complete understanding. I don’t schedule my tears (I don’t know how you do that one), but you’ve gotta know your limits and accept your needs and make sure they are being met or you’ll end up melting down over something ridiculous. Believe me. I saw it happen to this girl I know once … 😉
Anxious organizing may not entirely be what my therapist is prescribing, but it works pretty well for me.
So does getting my thoughts on paper. Hence the blogging. Also the lists. Sometimes even writing out my schedule for the day down to the gym, shower, meeting with xyz, lunch … it helps clear up the mental energy so I’m not constantly questioning myself with, “wait what was I supposed to do next?” Or, ya know, I forget to eat. Cuz that totally happened recently when I failed to organize myself.
Now I have a dog with anxiety and trying to navigate his anxiety on my own. Aiy yi yi! So, with him or whatever else, things do tend to pop up during the day, and then I don’t get distracted from my list and then begin catastrophizing. See how quickly I can spiral?
Navigating the anxious life is a work in progress. I’m still working. I’m doing well some days. Not so well on other days. It’s how it goes. That’s okay. After a rest and a snack, I’ll be ready to take on tomorrow.
(So, my web designer says I needed to include a bio, though I find this task silly because, if you’re here, you know me.)
I’m a writer. It’s what I do. It’s a cathartic mechanism when I need release from my anxiety. I’ve had blogs in the past; I’ve taken them down, but I never stopped writing. I simply can’t. My notes app is forever long as it’s filled with pages and pages of different topics. Sometimes I just write a few sentences. Sometimes I write paragraphs.
Recently, I've been writing long essays. My friends and others I hold dear have coaxed me into sharing my work again.
So that's what I'm doing, you wicked, pushy people. LOL
I have no desire to see my writing be anything more than an opportunity to share what I love doing most. I have no interest in this blog reaching the masses.
I thought it would be fun to call it My Spicy Disaster because that's often how I feel. A complete mess of epic proportion. So join me, if you'd like, and let's pretend we're not sitting amongst the chaos crying, but laughing instead.
Or maybe we do cry sometimes, but then wipe our tears and remember one person’s disaster is another person’s … well, who the hell knows …