Leadership, Responsibility and Does Everybody Hate Me?
I’ve had the opportunity many times over the course of my life, and even currently, to be a leader. Whether that’s a youth organization, on a committee within my church, or at my child’s school. I do possess many leadership qualities: integrity, courage, respect, creativity, accountability, decision-making skills, problem-solving, vision, and excellent communication.
That doesn’t mean I always like being a leader.
Do you know what else comes with being a leader? Responsiblity. That’s not to say I lack the ability to take responsibility; quite the contrary. In fact, I would argue, I’m all too willing to take responsibility even for things I have no business taking responsibility for, AND too often other people are far too willing to pass the buck and give responsibility for something I definitely didn’t have anything to do with.
Responsibility is a tricky little thing, isn’t it? Who’s responsible? For what? How did this happen? When did this occur? So many questions. Often, so much gray area. Everyone is ready to point fingers. Guess who gets none of the credit and all of the blame? The leader.
Let Me Clarify My Stance On Leadership and Responsibility
I’m truly grateful for all of the opportunities where I have gotten to spend more time with my girls and become invested in activities they are a part of; volunteering in a leadership capacity is just not always easy. In the last 12 hours, I’ve had two different people tell me I made a mistake and it wasn’t their fault. (Again, with the responsibility!) Even though I had proof, in writing, detailing quite the opposite. Finally, each person admitted their wrongdoing and corrected their errors, but not without putting me through a great amount of stress first.
This is why I began to wonder, “Does everybody hate me!? I mean, why are you putting me through this if you don’t enjoy watching me suffer?!”
Believe me, I know that’s dramatic, but it was how I felt. I read this quote several years ago, I’m not sure who it’s by, and I try to remember it during these difficult moments:
Just promise me the next time you’re thinking about who to blame, stop and think about what your role in the situation might be and how perhaps the person you’re trying to pin it on might just be your fall guy because it makes your life just a little bit easier.
(So, my web designer says I needed to include a bio, though I find this task silly because, if you’re here, you know me.)
I’m a writer. It’s what I do. It’s a cathartic mechanism when I need release from my anxiety. I’ve had blogs in the past; I’ve taken them down, but I never stopped writing. I simply can’t. My notes app is forever long as it’s filled with pages and pages of different topics. Sometimes I just write a few sentences. Sometimes I write paragraphs.
Recently, I've been writing long essays. My friends and others I hold dear have coaxed me into sharing my work again.
So that's what I'm doing, you wicked, pushy people. LOL
I have no desire to see my writing be anything more than an opportunity to share what I love doing most. I have no interest in this blog reaching the masses.
I thought it would be fun to call it My Spicy Disaster because that's often how I feel. A complete mess of epic proportion. So join me, if you'd like, and let's pretend we're not sitting amongst the chaos crying, but laughing instead.
Or maybe we do cry sometimes, but then wipe our tears and remember one person’s disaster is another person’s … well, who the hell knows …