double standards

I’m So Sick of Double Standards

I could write an entire sonnet on double standards. Things I’ve experienced in my family, in my personal life, and, of course, in entertainment. I’m so sick of them, I could scream from the top of a building until my throat is raw and I’m bleeding out.

Recently, an issue occurred where a man behaved in a way I called “dramatic” and another woman described it as “intense.” I was shocked. I also felt it was a double standard.

The man in question was, no doubt, overworked, over-committed, and frustrated beyond belief. However, he also screamed – at a non-profit fundraiser – that he quit, in front of a television news cameraman (who wasn’t filming, THANK GOD) and then threw his keys at our chairman.

double standard

Name a single woman who hasn’t been in his shoes.

Seriously, I’ll wait.

It baffled me another woman would call this man’s dramatic outburst “intense,” but any woman who would have done such a thing would have been labeled much differently. Women are labeled as emotional, bitch, bitchy, dramatic, and drama queens to name a few of the most popular.

Why is it okay for a man to behave one way and not for a woman? A woman tells you what she wants and how she wants it and she’s labeled as high maintenance and hard to please. A man says the same things and he’s powerful and aggressive. It’s the same message. What changed?

I’m definitely not a person who says F*ck the Patriarchy or any of that nonsense. It’s too extremist for me. I understand how hard it is to change after things have been done a certain way, especially for a long time. However, that doesn’t mean change still shouldn’t occur. I didn’t say overnight and I didn’t say all at once. We need to make room for change.

Please be mindful of your words when you are telling any girl or young woman to sit still or be quiet or stop being so loud or dramatic. Would you tell a boy or young man the same thing? If the answer is no, then please stop talking.

Leave a Comment

Heather Chastain

About Heather

(So, my web designer says I needed to include a bio, though I find this task silly because, if you’re here, you know me.)

I’m a writer. It’s what I do. It’s a cathartic mechanism when I need release from my anxiety. I’ve had blogs in the past; I’ve taken them down, but I never stopped writing. I simply can’t. My notes app is forever long as it’s filled with pages and pages of different topics. Sometimes I just write a few sentences. Sometimes I write paragraphs.

Recently, I've been writing long essays. My friends and others I hold dear have coaxed me into sharing my work again.

So that's what I'm doing, you wicked, pushy people. LOL

I have no desire to see my writing be anything more than an opportunity to share what I love doing most. I have no interest in this blog reaching the masses.

I thought it would be fun to call it My Spicy Disaster because that's often how I feel. A complete mess of epic proportion. So join me, if you'd like, and let's pretend we're not sitting amongst the chaos crying, but laughing instead.

Or maybe we do cry sometimes, but then wipe our tears and remember one person’s disaster is another person’s … well, who the hell knows …