It’s been wild around here, guys. I do mean wild. I’ve thought of easily 8 blog posts I want to write, but have either had no time to write them, or when I do sit down to write them I quite literally fall asleep. That never happens to me. I’m running on empty. Nevertheless, I remain a spicy disaster with an amalgam of stressors plaguing the way I suffer through life. LOL

Even though I tried to list the stressors in alphabetical order in the title, I’m going to mix it up and keep you on your toes.

Botox or Bust?

I’d been thinking about getting Botox for a while and finally decided to pull the trigger. To be clear, Botox forces the muscles in your forehead and between your eyes not to contract. It’s not filler. Filler is what happens south on your face. I told the nurse practitioner, whom I personally knew, I just wanted “a kiss” on my forehead. She said I had “come to the right place.” She only gave me 22 units. The maximum dosage is 40 units. Well, a few days in, I was miserable. It felt like I had A BRICK in my forehead.

I couldn’t move AT ALL above my eyebrows. I knew it would basically deaden the sensation so I couldn’t move as much, but I didn’t know it was going to feel like something was holding me back! I thought it would be like my c-section area. The nerves are dead down there. I can touch it and feel nothing, but I don’t feel like something is actively working against me. It was the strangest feeling. So, when I went back for my two-week follow-up, the NP was like, “Oh! It worked really well! You don’t have any movement!” Suffice to say, I’m not going back.

Piriformis Pain

Right before we left for spring break, my stinking piriformis pain decided to rear its ugly head. It’s a recurring issue I haven’t had in years. It was a miserable week in a gorgeous location. I was in so much pain. I still managed to smile and muscle through and did my best to enjoy my family, but it wasn’t easy. Ice and ibuprofen were not cutting it for the pain. I went to a walk-in orthopedic clinic when I got home and they set me up with a brace and some strong anti-inflammatories.

This looks amazing, but I was in excruciating pain! I told the photographer, “Be ready. I won’t be up long.” I nearly dove head-first into the water immediately following. I wasn’t sure I could get down on her back. I was fighting tears, but I stayed on the horse!

I had to wear the knee brace for a month, after the brace came off, my whole right side went down. Neck, back, and piriformis. I think the back pain is really an extension of the piriformis pain, but omg it hurts. I’ve had two deep tissue massages, she has used cupping on me and an LED heating pad. I’ve been stretching and rolling out on a lacrosse ball. I even went to a couple of those stretch labs to try to get some relief. I’m sure I have to go more regularly, but GOOD GOD. This little jerk thinks he’s sticking around. I’m here to tell him, he is NOT.

My Pilot

In three weeks’ time, I had two flat tires on the interstate, an alignment issue the dealership ASSURED me wasn’t an alignment issue (but it totally was and I knew it was because I’d just had TWO tires replaced. OH, and I drive the vehicle every day, I know when something’s off) and then a certain car wash – whom will remain nameless – had an issue while I was in the wash (a belt came loose or something) and it was beating the hell out of the side of my vehicle! I’m now in an insurance claim with them over the damages to the passenger side of my Pilot. It was pretty terrifying being stuck inside the vehicle while something is pelting your automobile and you’re just praying it won’t smash in the windows since you’re inside a carwash.

Anxiety Riddled

I feel like this is the point of the article where you all go, “Yeah, we can see why she’s got so much anxiety!” I feel as if I shouldn’t say more. But the fun’s not over yet folks …

My Damn iPhone

Look, I get it, first-world problems and all that shit, but my phone is being a real pain in the ass. My iPhone 12 has touchscreen sensitivity issues and now the battery is dying at an alarming rate. The problem is, I now fully own the phone and the new iPhone 15 is coming out in September. Financially, it makes sense to wait because even if I don’t get the iPhone 15, the iPhone 13 and 14 will drop dramatically in price.

Naturally, I use my phone a ton. Not just for personal use to scroll through Instagram, but for work and all of my volunteer responsibilities, and it’s how I communicate with my children’s coaches through certain apps (these apps aren’t desktop compatible).

So, struggling to type and stay charged and simply use the phone as God and Steve Jobs intended. It’s really putting a damper on my summer. September has never felt so far away.

Cue more anxiety!!!!!!!! (Also, please read that is a really shrill, high pitch tone where the sound is up high in your throat because that was the intent.)

I can’t believe summer is basically half over and I feel like I haven’t even had a chance to enjoy it!! I hope to slow down some (cue the laughter) in July!